Soapbox for a midget Aussie

The Great Internet Debate: Pirates versus Ninjas!


By kaitee - Posted on 06 September 2008

Anyone who's ever used the internet is familiar with the great internet debate of Pirates vs Ninjas. Indeed, a quick google search for that exact phrase turned up 1.8 million results. If that's not a cultural phenomenon I don't know what is.

 

Someone somewhere asked who would win a fight between pirates and ninjas. Given my name on every forum ever known to man is KaiteeThePirate, it's probably fairly clear which camp I'm in. Every nerd and pseudonerd from here until the end of the universe is on one side or the other, most of them with no clear reason as to why bar they're either a fan of Bruce Lee or Johnny Depp.  You can even buy shirts to declare your allegiance and before you ask, yes I actually do have one:

 

 

 

And that necklace is actually a pirate ship which my friend gave me for my birthday a million years ago. Yes, my obsession with pirates pretty much predates the written word and I have the extensive sword collection to back that up. I managed to freak a few people out when I rocked up to a pirate party a few years ago and was the only one there with real weaponry. Hehe.

 

Anyway. Pirates ARE cooler than ninjas and here is why:

 

  • Ninjas hold to a code of ethics; pirates do not.

 

  • Ninjas have to train all the time; pirates do not.

 

  • Ninjas watch their weight; pirates are free to slaughter wild animals and feast on what they fancy.

 

  • Ninjas wield swords; so do pirates. Pirates swords are bigger.

 

  • Ninjas obey the emperor; pirates are a law unto themselves.

 

  • Ninjas go where they are sent; pirates can go wherever they want.

 

  • Ninjas do not accumulate personal wealth; pirates can pillage and plunder all the treasure they desire.

 

  • Ninjas are solitary creatures; pirates get to have hot sex with all the womens.

 

  • Ninjas do not indulge in vices; pirates get to booze it up.

 

  • Pirates get to burn stuff!!

 

Basically, pirates get to have all the fun in all the ways they can think of while ninjas moralise, deny themselves fun and are subject to someone elses's rule.

 

And as to who'd win in a fight? Well. I imagine it would be a little like that scene from Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark - some fancy ninja will be doing sword tricks and backflips to psych them out and the pirate will just shoot them. Pirates don't play fair. And that's why they would win. End of story.

 

Now if it came down to a war between pirates and Vikings.... THAT would be a tough call.

 

Yes, I much prefer pirates too. There's something about sailing off to lost lands and finding lost treasure and trying not to get lost does it for me! Oh... that, and I've always wanted a pet monkey perching on my shoulder! :p

Hi there, I dont know if I am writing in a proper board but I have got a problem with activation, link i receive in email is not working... http://www.kaiteesquill.com/?b6fb20a1263a7a7e0638ff9303b,

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