I don't smoke. I dislike smokers and I especially dislike smoke pushers, the people who think that unless you are slowly filling your lungs up with enough smoke to spend the last 5 years of your life hacking and wheezing and breathing via oxygen tanks that you aren't cool or worth knowing. I think that those of us who can breathe unassisted are actually the cooler, smarter ones. Sure, we might miss you when you're dead but I've got no desire to jump into the grave with you. The worst kind of smokers however, are those that smoke and drive. There is nothing more revolting. I see someone puffing away on a death stick and driving and my reaction is visceral.

Yesterday I saw a woman in a sports car, with an expensive hairdo and super long nails puffing away as she was driving. She might have thought she was hot shit, but to me she looked like the worst kind of white trash. You could be the hottest, sexiest, most popular woman on the face of the planet, but the second you get into a car and start on the fags you become the lowest common denominator.

And let's face it, you are. You can't even get from A to B without succumbing to your addictions. That's pretty damn pathetic. Not only do you not have friends because you smell like a rubbish dump and if you're a coffee drinker as well then you smell like the newly risen dead, but you're also alienating people you've never even met who see you sucking down a ciggie as they drive past and think "Jeez, how trailer trash is that?"

Men are just as bad as women, although I suffer the urge to punch their teeth in far less than women because most of the men already look like bogans, usually driving utes and wearing wife beaters, so there's not much lower in the social scale they can really fall to. Women at least, are clean about their disgusting habits. I've known men to drive cars where the entire floor of the car is so covered in cigarette butts that you can't tell what colour the floor is (obviously it's brown since it's covered in dirt, ash and scum grime, but if you wanted to see what colour it was you couldn't). Seriously dudes, your car is a crack den. That's gross.

The moral of this story is that smoking is revolting. It makes women look like trailer trash and men look like dirty bogans. Zombies smell better than you. You are gross.

DISCLAIMER:

This is my opinion of ALL smokers, including those in my family and every single one of my friends.

Spammers are scum. The kind of scum that can only be likened to something as repugnant and virulent as the Ebola virus.

They should be eradicated at the source, and I don't mean destroying their source codes or anything nearly as nice as that.

I want to find the fuckers advocating spamming my inbox with penis enlargement and viagra advertisements. A: I'm a girl, a very happily straight girl with no designs on growing a penis ever; B: George has the sex drive of a teenage virgin, giving him viagra is the absolute furtherest thing on my mind; C: Even if I did decide to get a penis or decide George's was inadequate, do you really think I'd be so fucking retarded as to click on any of the links from a spammer? 

I logged in today to write a few nice (nasty) stories about things and people after a fairly lengthy absence due to some intense studying, no internet, moving house, all the usual mundane shit that life dumps on you, and I find that I have 900 billion spam comments advocating, you guessed it! All sorts of genital enhancements.

Unfortunately, I am not blessed with being a 1337 h@x0r, but rest assured if I was, I would track down those fuckers and chop their dicks off with a blunt, rusty axe and force feed them a shitload of viagra as a particularly cruel torment. Then I would spam the entire world photos of them being tortured and mutilated and not one person on this planet would lift a finger to stop me. In fact, every single country would probably award me their highest military honour for outstanding dedication to the protection of the people. I'd have to keep my 2nd house as a trophy cabinet I'd have so many of them. I'd be the most popular person on the planet and nobody would give a shit what kind of atrocities I'd have committed to get there.

Instead, I've decided to put up with everyone else's bitching about having to log in to post comments or waiting for authorisation before comments are listed. Why? Because deleting 30 pages of shitty spam comments really pissed me off and I'm not doing it again. So if you want to comment, you can damn well log in and comment, or if that's too much bother for you, then you can post anonymously and I'll only authorise it if you're not trying to get me to grow a dick. Seriously, a girl could get a complex about that.

For the last few days, the administrative staff at the hospital I work with, and at all public hospitals across the state, have been threatening strike action trying to garner a more impressive pay rise than 3.5%. Today, they are actually going on strike.

I have serious issues with people who think that by stopping work they are sticking it to the establishment and showing how committed they are to demanding that their voices be heard. There are plenty of other ways to stand out from the crowd and be heard. People who go on strike deserve to wear any negative fallout from their stupid actions and shouldn't hide behind the "I'm in a union, you can't do this to me!" banner. We work in a hospital for fucks sake. You might not think that administrative staff going on strike is going to change things, but let me ask you this: Who is it that will admit you to hospital? Who bills your accounts? Who books the theaters? Who makes the appointments? Who does all the thankless tasks you probably would never think of that are necessary to the effective running of a hospital, which is the kind of workplace that cannot afford to have staff on strike?

Going on strike is not the answer. You may not think it, but it endangers the effectiveness of the workplace. Some work can be pushed onto other people, other work cannot. You don't really want some inexperienced person trying to run things do you? Chances are they'll fuck it up.

Anyway, the main reason I'm pissed off is because they are arguing for "fair wages". The public health system has the BEST pay scale out of ANY other alternatives in this state. And I've worked for all the alternatives and I'm quite prepared to scan in and email around my payslips to anyone who thinks otherwise. I am paid $7 an hour MORE than what I used to (that's $15,470 more per year, which is a massive increase) when I was working in the private sector. In one year I have the approximate case load that I used to have in a month. All year, I have sat on my arse, done sweet fuck all compared to what I used to do and got paid $15K a year more to do it in. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT????

The other reason I'm pissed. Oh yeah, union members keep telling me that they're doing this for my benefit as well and that I'm anti union and am therefore the devil. Bullshit. I am not anti union. I'm all for unions, when it's a union for people who actually have risky jobs, shit pay or are exploited in some way. But don't they realise we are on a seriously sweet deal? Don't fuck that up for me. Seriously.

And don't strike either. Just because I'm on a sweet deal and have nothing to do, doesn't mean I want to have to do your work, which is what I will be doing today. So any mistakes that happen because I don't know what the fuck I am doing, are going to come back to me, I'm the one who's going to get in the shit for it, and not you union wankers who put me in this position.

I've spent the last week talking about feminism with some people and I think I'm about to completely lose it. Feminists will be responsible for the eradication of the human race if they're not careful.

Feminists demand rights and equality for womankind everywhere. Being a woman myself, I'm totally cool with that agenda. I like having the right to vote and go to work and not spend my days darning socks and being denied an education.  Where I believe the hardcore feminists of today are getting it wrong is by pushing that demand for equality and understanding even further and when they finally succeed, the human race is going to collapse in on itself.

Feminism operates under the ideal that 'anything a man can do a woman can do'. Much as I would love to say that's true, it's total bullshit. Men and women are built differently so of course there are going to be limits on what each are capable of. Not too many women are able to harness the same amount of strength and power that a man can. We do not have the size, bone structure or muscle mass to be equal. Sure you can build on your muscle mass, but then you'd look like one of those freaky bodybuilder chicks who have well defined pecs instead of nice boobies and look about 150 years old before you hit 30. Who wants to do that to themselves?

Not only are we built differently, but then there's that reproductive thing to take into consideration. If you're a man it's not really much of a consideration you just go around and spread your seed whenever and wherever you fancy, nothing to it. Being a woman however means that you have to limit some activities during a certain time of the month. I am convinced this is about 65% of the reason they do not let women into particular areas of the military, mostly to do with frontline and special ops. The absolute last thing you want to be thinking about when you're fighting in a war is "I need to wash this dude's guts off my hands so I can change my tampon". It's completely impractical. For the record, the other 35% of why women can't do that job is they can't meet the physical demands in the same way a man could. That and for some reason the military wants to keep the sexes segregated so people don't form attachments and make dumb decisions, which considering the prevelance of homosexuality these days, is kind of superfluous. There's also that pesky pregnancy thing too which brings even more limitations to the extent of your physical abilities.  Feminists can fight for their right to go die for their country if they really fancy it, but if they really want to do everything a man does the only sensible option is for them to remove their uterus and butch up because if they don't, it's only going to spawn another wave of chicks bitching that the military is insensitive to their needs.

Some feminists also seem to have this idea that men need to become more sensitive to the female condition. *Snort* Since when did being a chick sound like having a disease? They seem to want to turn men into Sensitive New Age Guys and eventually they'll all turn out to be insipid, limp-wristed twits who cry at the drop of a hanky. Now I'm all for a teensy bit of sensitivity in a man, usually when I'm menstruating and about as friendly to be around as a chained dragon on heat, but gratuitous snivelling is just plain unattractive. These SNAGs will become so sensitive to the female condition that they'll stop just short of menstruating themselves and then there will be nobody tough enough to open jars of vegemite for me.

The issue of gender inequality in regards to employment is another area where feminists pushing to have their agenda enforced on others is going to do more harm than good. It's all very well and good to say that there is a massive gender imbalance within certain occupational areas, but did they ever think to themselves why that might actually be? There aren't a lot of female bricklayers for instance. Is this because the building industry is inherently discriminatory towards women? Hell no. Chicks aren't interested in manual labour when there are strapping young lads to do the work for them. It has a lot to do with women not being as physically capable and the possibility that they might break a nail, which would be the end of the world. It has nothing to do with women not being given the chance, there's hundreds of 'Women in Technology' or 'Women in Trade' scholarships and incentives to entice women into those areas but most women are just vapid idiots who you really wouldn't want fixing jet engines.

A feminist would have you believe that society is inherently patriarchal and that men view us as little better than sex objects. You know why that is? It's because women themselves set themselves up to be viewed as playthings, not because men are evil (well they are, but I'm angry at women this week). I saw a chick walking around with a shirt that said "I'm a whore for cheap sex", real fucking smart bitch, you want to know why you're treated like a whore, that's why! If chicks stopped dressing like $2 hookers and acting like slags they might actually get treated with a little bit more respect, because it's sure as hell hard to respect some stupid bint who spends all her time whinging about how men treat her so badly when she goes out there and basically begs for it.

In the end, we are going to get a whole bunch of women turning into men in the name of 'equality' and men turning into women because if they don't they'll be labelled as nasty bastards. Procreation of the human race will end completely. I'm not sure where guys stand on the whole women turning into men part, but I'm pretty sure some gun toting, beer drinkin, tough talking sheila isn't going to get them all worked up into a hot sweaty mess of dirty desires. Unless it's Angelina Jolie, but she's not a real person so it doesn't count. SNAGs don't really do it for me either, too wimpy. While I value intelligence and humour above all other male attributes, I'd be very very sad if all men suddenly decided that clubbing me over the head and dragging me back to their caves for some naughtiness was no longer their biological imperative.

Once feminists get their way, men are going to be completely pushed to the outer limits of society and kept in cages because they've had it so good for so long and now it's someone elses turn. Then eventually after a few years of matriarchal rule some idealistic young man is going to get it into his head that women are the oppressors of men and start a revolution and then the whole stupid cycle will start all over again. Why not just get the fuck over it?